A woman sought the help of the Reddit community after a challenging Thanksgiving dinner at her mother-in-law’s home. Upon arriving at the residence, everyone had already settled into their seats around the table, and no vacant chair was available for her. Beside her husband sat his ex-girlfriend, with whom her mother-in-law is close.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are undoubtedly complex to nurture and nourish, especially if they have been strained for a while.
However, one woman may have jeopardized her relationship with her mother-in-law after a Thanksgiving dinner, where her husband’s ex was present.
The Daughter-in-Law versus the Ex-girlfriend
A 28-year-old woman sought the help of Reddit community members regarding her Thanksgiving situation. She has been married to her 33-year-old husband, Shaun, for five months, but they have been together for two years. Like many other married women, she also didn’t have the best relationship with her mother-in-law. According to the woman, her mother-in-law was passive-aggressive and would often criticize her. To make matters worse, the mother-in-law had an excellent relationship with Shaun’s ex-girlfriend, Julissa, who still got invited to family occasions. Because of the bond Julissa formed with Shaun’s family over the years, she remained on good terms with everyone, regardless of their breakup. Although it wasn’t ideal, the woman never minded Julissa’s attendance during family gatherings and holidays. However, Thanksgiving dinner changed everything.
Thanksgiving Dinner
“We had Thanksgiving dinner at my MIL’s house. My husband, Shaun, went there before me, and when I arrived, it was already dinner time, and all the chairs were taken,” she said. By the time she got there, her husband and everyone else were already seated and ready to eat. Unfortunately, there were no more seats empty for the woman to take, nor was there space to fit another chair.
After asking why her mother-in-law did not save a seat for her, Shaun’s mom apologized and explained that her granddaughter had joined the celebration at the last minute. Admittedly, the woman did not like the answer and gestured towards Julissa, who was seated beside her husband. She claimed that, as the daughter-in-law, she had more right to be at the table than Shaun’s ex-girlfriend. By the time the woman knew she shouldn’t have said those words, it was too late. Her mother-in-law claimed that Julissa was just as much family as the Original Poster (OP).
She also noted that her daughter-in-law was rude to think otherwise. While the exchange happened, Julissa nodded and glanced at the woman. The woman said: “I was so upset I wanted to leave but decided to just sit on my husband’s lap and act as casual as possible. I sat on his lap asking if he was okay with it.”
The Awkward Moments
While sitting on Shaun’s lap, the woman and her husband started to eat and compliment the dishes. However, the table went into awkward silence when the woman praised her husband’s warm and comfortable lap. Although the woman’s brother-in-law tried to make conversation and make the situation less awkward, the elephant in the room was too humongous to ignore. Meanwhile, the woman’s mother-in-law and Julissa barely touched their food and would look at each other and then at her.
After a few minutes, Julissa excused herself to go to the washroom, and the woman’s mother-in-law followed. The table remained awkward. Still, the woman and her husband ate well.
When the dinner ended, the woman and her husband went home. She then received a message from her mother-in-law, calling her out for being inappropriate and ruining the Thanksgiving celebration.
The mother-in-law claimed the woman could have taken a chair from the kitchen instead of acting like a child and making Julissa feel uncomfortable.
While many Reddit users sided with the woman, a few called out her husband for doing absolutely nothing while the situation unfolded. One person said: “[He should have given] you his seat while he went to fetch another one. In fact, he should have already had an empty seat beside him waiting for you.” Meanwhile, another Reddit user said of the husband, “Why isn’t he managing his mom and shutting down her match-making with his ex? Ultimately, this needs to go through him and seemed very passive in all this [sic].”
Do you think the woman did the right thing by sitting on her husband’s lap? What would you have done in this situation?
