Colorado Head Coach Deion Sanders, aka Coach Prime, went out of his way after last week’s game to teach a couple of anthem kneelers some respect. He took linebacker Ryan J Fish and wide receiver Joe Barron to a VA Hospital in Denver.
“I wanted to show them what they were disrespecting,” said Deion, “They needed to see it first-hand.”
The two young men sat in on a group therapy session while Sanders went out to get them all Chick-fil-A for lunch.
“It was really uplifting,” said Barron, “Once we realized coach had dumped us at a Gambler’s Anonymous meeting across the street by mistake, we pretty much owned the room.”
“It’s true,” said J Fish, “I left with $6,000 from people who think I’d throw a game for $6,000 and I’m also sponsoring a young redhead named Chelsea. I have Coach Prime to thank.”
Meanwhile, across the street, a group of veterans sat around discussing how dumb the whole kneeling thing is in the first place. “It ended like three years ago and nobody disrespected any veterans,” said ALLOD Sportsball Correspondelator Tara Newhole, “And yet it’s still one of the most profitable storylines of all time.”
Profitable or not, kneeling for the anthem is just wrong, and this publication will never advocate for it in the first three to five paragraphs. God Bless America.